Zelos Has A BooBoo
by Aiya-Chan
Summary: During their morning ritual, Zelos gets obtains a wound, or so he thinks. And thus, he begins a subjourney to get someone to kiss his booboo better. ZelosLloyd.
1. In which beginnings begin

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Tales of Symphonia. But I do own Mithos, because nobody else wanted him. **(softly pets her Mithos)

* * *

Chapter 1**

It was a bright, sunny morning. Birds were singing, kids were playing, and the Chosen's group was going through their morning ritual.

What was their morning ritual? You may ask. Simple. It goes like this:

1. Raine wakes up, and wakes everyone else up.

2. Zelos goes into Sheena's room in hopes of seeing her naked, but fails.

3. Sheena chases Zelos out of her room, yelling.

4. Lloyd scolds Sheena for yelling so loud in the morning.

5. Colette trips a minimum of 700 times.

6. Genis wonders why he even went on the journey.

7. Presea wonders if this routine is what all adults do.

8. Regal assures her that it isn't, unless you're in the Chosen's group.

But today was different than any other day. Today, Sheena actually hurt Zelos, so Zelos needed someone to kiss his boo-boo better.

* * *

"ZELOS, YOU DAMN PERVERT, GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"

"Sheena, don't yell so early in the morning."

"Sorry Lloyd."

"Say sorry to Zelos too, because I don't think he did anything. Like all the other times you've chased him out of your room, Sheena."

"Sorry Zelos."

"Sheena, hunny? You gave me a boo-boo; kiss it better?"

Sheena's eyebrow twitched, then she smacked Zelos, "NO! NO! NO! Go get someone else to kiss your wounds!"

"So… cold…" Zelos shivered.

* * *

"So, which one of you wants to kiss my boo-boo better!" Zelos exclaimed to his group.

"You're serious, Zelos?" Lloyd stared blankly at Zelos, his eyebrows raised.

One thought ran through Zelos' mind at that point, and it was: "Lloyd's too cute. I'll get him to kiss my boo-boo better, if it's the last thing I do!" His inner-self pumped it's fist.

"Lloydie? Kiss my boo-boo?" Zelos put on a puppy-dog face.

"No, Zelos. Ask someone else." Lloyd deadpanned.

Another though ran through Zelos' mind: "Persistence is key! He _will _kiss my boo-boo!"

Thus began Zelos' sub-journey of getting Lloyd to kiss him, and his boo-boo. And maybe more, like a shower and bed…

* * *

A/N: My first Tales of Symphonia fic. Wonderful, ne? (rolls her eyes) I think I was on crack while writing this, I really do. Whatever, though.

R&R, please!


	2. In which there is flirting

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Tales of Symphonia... or do I? **(dun dun dun)

* * *

****Chapter 2**

"Zelos… you mean to tell me that your new life-goal is to get Lloyd to kiss you?" Sheena asked slowly, as if trying to comprehend Zelos' logic.

"Of course Sheena; I mean, he's just too cute." Zelos responded quickly, as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

Sheena frowned. "He's…dating Colette though. That'd break 'your sweet little Colette's' heart. Shouldn't you be more worried about that?"

Zelos sighed. "I understand that it'd break my sweet Colette's heart, and I've gone over this in my head a million times…" Sheena snorted loudly. Zelos glared at her. "... and in doing so, I've discovered something. I don't give a crap about Colette anymore. She's dense and stupid. She may be cute, sure, but she lacks intelligence."

Sheena snorted again. "Zelos, Lloyd lacks intelligence too. He's everything Colette is; excluding the fact that he's a boy and that he uses swords."

Zelos knitted his brow in thought. "Now that I think about it… you're right. I think I just don't like her in general."

Raine walked in, at that very moment, in that very second. Why? Because she's cool like that. She's hep, man. "Who don't you like, Zelos?"

Zelos looked up. "Umm…everyone and no one?"

Raine sighed. "Must you really hide _everything _from me?"

"Of course I do, hunny."

Sheena walked out of the room giggling. "Raine, everyone hides stuff from you."

Raine looked as if she'd had an epiphany; an important epiphany. "Because I hide stuff from everyone, they hide stuff from me, is that it!" She exclaimed.

Zelos looked horrified, and then muttered: "No… you just freak everyone out." He stared wide-eyed at Raine, who'd obviously heard his statement. Zelos inwardly wondered how in the Hell she'd heard him. Then, it hit him; she was a half-elf.

Raine, the horrifying scholar, the crazy half-elf, glared threateningly at Zelos. "Did you just call me freaky?"

Zelos, looking for a way to get himself out of his new predicament, yelled: "No! I said… umm… get freaky!" Then he started break-dancing.

Now, some of you might be wondering: 'What does this have to do with Zelos' side-quest?' others might be thinking: 'This is hilarious as fuck.' And some of you might just be thinking: 'Why the hell am I reading this again?'

I have answers to these questions. Answers that I won't give out unless you give me cookies. No cookies? Too bad.

Anyway, back to the story…

Zelos switched from break-dancing to doing to moonwalk and grabbing his crotch. Raine looked scared, but danced nonetheless. She did the running-man. That's right; the running-man.

At that moment, Lloyd decided to come in. Why? Because Lloyd loves walking in rooms at awkward moments; it's a scientifically proven fact. "What the hell are you two doing?" Lloyd asked.

Raine spluttered, "I-I-It's not what it looks like, Lloyd, I swear." She raised her hands.

Zelos, whose hand was on his crotch, pointed at Raine with his other hand and said: "It's her fault. She did it. It was all her idea, I swear."

Raine smacked Zelos. "You're the one who said 'get funky'!"

Zelos fake-sobbed, "Lloydie... I'm hurt again, can you kiss it better?" He put on his super-puppy-dog-eyes and pouted cutely.

Lloyd shook his head.

Zelos walked up and started cuddling Lloyd. "Please?"

Lloyd's eyes widened, then he screamed. "NOOOOOOO! I'M BEING RAPED! HELP ME!"

Zelos immediately let go of Lloyd and ran.

Regal, Presea, and Genis, who were all just watching this strange turn of events, laughed loudly; except Presea, because she's too emo to laugh.

The last sight anyone saw of Zelos for a week was him, running away from the A.C.R.A (Anti-Child-Rape Association).

* * *

**A/N: **Oh em gee... my chapters are so bloody short. Oh well, I love to make you all suffer. **(cue maniacal laugh) **Anyway, more crack-humor and that makes ya'll happy, doesn't it? It made my sister/beta laugh, especially the A.C.R.A thing...

R & R, peeps. The more reviews I get, the quicker I update. It'll give me motivation. **(cheesy salesman grin)**


	3. In which Zelos tells a tale

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Tales of Symphonia. I still own Mithos though. He's a good pet... he loves his chains, also. **(pets Mithos)

* * *

Chapter 3**

After Zelos had returned from running away from the A.C.R.A, much time had passed; about 2 months to be exact. It was quite awkward when he'd returned, also.

**Flashback—**

Zelos walked towards what vaguely resembled his friends; his gang, if you will. He looked rather tussled. His hair was longer than before, and his outfit was ripped and torn in random areas. Sheena looked up at him, "What the hell happened to you?"

"A.C.R.A… they chased me. Apparently, I was attempting to rape Lloyd."

Sheena laughed loudly, as she was the only one who knew about Zelos' "undying love" for Lloyd. Lloyd just flushed a bright red.

Raine cleared her throat, "Zelos…you were attempting pedophilia?"

Zelos frowned, "First of all, it's not pedophilia; Lloyd is turning 18 soon! Second, I wasn't attempting to rape anyone; I was simply being my usual self: touchy and forward."

Genis snorted and said the only line I'll allow him in the fic, because I don't like Genis: "Zelos…the rapist. It has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

Everyone but Zelos, Lloyd, and Presea was nodding in agreement.

Presea sighed, "Zelos isn't a rapist; He's exactly what he said he was: touchy and forward. While those may be the qualities of a rapist, Zelos also has a redeeming quality that gives him an alibi: he's quite handsome, and handsome men don't rape, as they can get sexual release with charm and not force." Aha… the most that's ever came out of Presea's awesomely emo little mouth.

Regal nodded in agreement, "Yes, Presea has a good point. I mean, I'm great looking. That's why I was with Alicia and why I'm now with…Raine!"

Raine looked around jerkily, "We're…we're...we're not together! I swear! He's still mourning Alicia! I'm still selling my body to Kratos! Umm…I mean…I'm…I'm with Linar!" Ouch…poor Regal looked so crestfallen. He went off to go cry somewhere.

Sheena just laughed at all of this, "Raine, I never knew you were such a whore…"

"I'M NOT!"

**--End flashback because you've seen enough and the FCC will kill me if I put any more…**

So now, the chosen's group was sitting outside of Luin, awaiting something. Lloyd, who was bored, broke the silence.

"So…whatever happened to Regal, eh?"

"He went off to go cry somewhere; Probably at Lezareno."

All of a sudden, Kratos appeared. He was glowing and he was wearing Mithos' outfit upon his angelic form for some odd, unknown reason.

Zelos broke out into laughter, "Great! Kratos is now the official disco-angel!"

Sheena frowned, "Wow…it actually looks good on him…"

Raine popped out from behind a tree, in a really skanky outfit, and glomped Kratos; and his angelic form, "Kratty-poo!"

Kratos looked horrified, for a split second, before regaining his angelic composure. He sighed angelically, "Raine…let go of my angelic form before I get you with some mase."

Raine let go of his angelic form quickly and fearfully.

Lloyd, who knew about Kratos' angelic obsession with his angelic form, sighed, "Dad…we've been waiting for your angelic ass for about 2 hours!"

Everyone looked confused. Except Regal, who was still off crying somewhere, "We have?"

Lloyd grinned, "Well…I have. That's why I insisted that we ate lunch outside of Luin; because Kratos' angelic form was coming."

Kratos' angelic form smirked as he saw Zelos. Zelos was looking more angelic than Kratos; and that's hard, because Kratos was an angelic form. Kratos decided that he'd ignore everyone except Zelos…

…And maybe Lloyd, because he didn't want to get sued for child neglect.

* * *

**A/N: **I'm so sorry! I haven't updated in forever! Soooo sorry! Also, the "angelic" stuff I got from right before you go off to fight Mithos for the last time, where Kratos says, "...You inflicted such a wound upon my angelic form..." or something to that effect. It's a bit of an inside joke...

Oh, I love everyone that reviewed the previous two chapters. You're all hilariously awesome and you all deserve roses and brownies! **(throws roses and brownies at the wonderfully, fantasmic reviewers)**

Um... review and I'll... attempt to update quicker! Yeah, that's it! And, if you review, you'll get... cookies next time! XD


	4. In which Colette is bashed

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Tales of Symphonia. If I did though, I'd ask Regal for a piggy-back ride because I know that he'd accept, while not being able to do it because he's got handcuffs.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Kratos had been with the group for quite a while... 2 hours, to be exact. He'd ditched his obsession with being angelic and he kept making lewd comments toward Zelos, who was getting really annoyed.

"Kratos, just shut the fuck up!"

"I'll give you something to fuck up..."

Zelos screamed in frustration, "Lloyd, tell your dad to leave me alone!"

Lloyd giggled, "No, Zelos, it's far too fun to watch you get hit on by Kratos."

Colette looked at Lloyd like a robotic retard, "Lloyd, please. It seems that Kratos is annoying him. Please stop him."

Zelos scoffed. He didn't want help from Colette! "No, no, no. I'm... not annoyed. I love it! I love Kratos!" He jumped on Kratos and squeezed him.

Kratos felt a strange sense of satisfaction. Was it because no one else seemed to have interest in Zelos, excluding Colette (because she didn't matter), or maybe because Zelos had just screamed, "I love you!" and was currently hugging him? Kratos assumed that it was both, because he liked answering his own questions.

Sheena looked over at Raine. Raine was fuming quietly and looked like she was about to burst. Then, all of a sudden, Raine yelled, "GET OFF MY KRATTY-POO!" And she jumped on Zelos and started to maul him.

Zelos let out a girly scream, and suddenly Lloyd felt a strange sense of anger. "Hey, Professor, get off Zelos... I'm sure he was just kidding. Right, Zelos?"

Zelos flashed Lloyd a thankful look, "Yes, yes, yes! I was just kidding, I swear on my beauty!"

Colette laughed, "Hehehe... that's funny."

Everyone stared at Colette. "What was funny?" Genis asked.

"Zelos' joke. It was funny... wasn't it?"

"Uhh... how about no?"

"Oh. I... uhh... I TAKE BACK MY LAUGHTER!" She said, giggling at the end of the sentence.

Lloyd sighed, "Colette... you're really stupid..."

"Why, thank you Lloyd!"

Suddenly, Lloyd felt depressed that someone as stupid as Colette could be his girlfriend.

Genis walked over to Lloyd and whispered in his ear, "Don't worry... we'll dump her off at Asgard. No, we'll dump her off at Hima, because it would suck to be abandoned in Hima. I would know, as I was abandoned by my nutcase mom who still thinks that Raine is a doll."

Lloyd nodded and whispered back, "Good... she's getting on my nerves, a bit."

"Same here, man." A voice said, and Lloyd and Genis jumped about 3 feet into the air, and looked over at the source of the voice. And, who did they see?

"Holy cheese and crackers, it's...!"

"It's...! It's...! It's...! It's...! It's...! It's...!" Genis stuttered.

"Out with it, you imbecile!" Kratos yelled sternly.

"It's Regal! He's back! Get him away, I don't like pussies!" Lloyd yelled.

Lloyd's last statement raised a few questions in Kratos' head, but he decided to ask Lloyd about it later. When they were alone, so they could have a father-son talk.

**Later, when they were alone--**

"Hey, Lloyd."

"Yeah, Kratos?"

"About what you said earlier..."

"What about it?"

"Are you... well, are you... gay?"

"I don't know. Leave me alone. I have to contemplate this in my head and then go into denial when I realize that I am."

"Oh, okay. I'll leave you to it."

So Lloyd started to contemplate his sexuality. He realized that he was gay, so he withdrew himself and went into denial. Internally, of course.

* * *

**A/N: **I'm so sorry for not updating in a while. I had Christmas lists to make and Christmas shopping to do. It was a waste of time, because I'm not getting an iPod or a PS2... or a time machine.

R & R, my lovelies!


	5. In which Zelos gets some ass

**Disclaimer: **This shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S! Sadly enough, it is not my bananas. **sobs into her Teen Titans pillow

* * *

Chapter 5**

"Good morning, my beloved hunnies and hunks!"

Zelos looked around the inn and saw no one.

"Where the hell is everyone?" He asked the air.

All of a sudden, a voice from behind him said, "They all went off on their own this morning, Zelos. Do you want to go for a walk?"

Zelos jumped a bit, then turned around. Then he jumped again.

"Holy shit, Colette, you scared the living shit out of me!"

"Oh no, I'm sorry."

Zelos stared at her for a second.

"'Oh no'?" Zelos asked.

"Well, I mean, it's bad to scare someone right?"

"…Uh. Not really."

"Well, that's what my father always taught me."

Zelos grinned. He got the stunning idea in his head… to fuck with Colette's head. Inwardly, he danced. Then, inwardly, he asked himself: "Why is it that I like dancing so much?" To which his inward-self responded, "It's a curse. The Ring got you after you were all orphaned and shit. 7 days… 7 days…"

Zelos shook his head of his thoughts, "Well, Colette-hunny, your father was and is full of crap."

"You mean, HE'S A POOP-MONSTER!"

Zelos' eyes widened at her. Was she really **that **stupid? He shook his head of the bullshit thoughts. Of course she is!

"Uh, yes. Yes, he is. He is indeed a… poop-monster."

Colette's eyes widened in fear and she ran out of the inn, screaming.

"Well, that got rid of her at least…" He said to himself quietly.

Then, everything went black…

* * *

'_AHHH! ZELOS, HELP ME!' a voice yelled out fearfully._

_Zelos suddenly appeared in Iselia and looked around, before hearing the voice again._

'_PLEASE! HELP ME, ZELOS! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!'_

_Zelos blinked in shock. He only loved one person… 'Lloyd! I'm coming for you!'_

_He ran about the village, unable to find Lloyd anywhere._

_He went inside the school, and saw Raine 'fooling around' with Regal. Once out the school, he shook his head, 'That didn't happen…'_

_He ran inside Raine and Genis' house, and saw Genis brandishing a whip and Presea strapped up against the wall. Once out of the house, he heard Presea's voice yelling, 'Harder, Genis!' _

'_Geez, everyone's getting lucky but me…' He sighed, and continued his search for Lloyd._

'_That could change soon, Zelos…'_

_Two strong arms wrapped around him, and he frowned in recognition, as that deep voice could only belong to…_

'_Kratos! Let go of me!'_

'_NEVER! If you want your precious gay porn collection back, you'll do as I say!'_

_Zelos laughed, 'I don't care about my damn gay porn. I'm rich, bitch! I can just buy more! Now, let go of me!'_

_Kratos let go of him in shock, 'Alright, fine. Anyway, I have Yuan waiting for me off in his fancy Renegade base in Triet.'_

_Zelos sighed in relief._

'_ZELOS, YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO HELP ME, DAMN IT!'_

'_I'm coming, my beloved!'_

_He ran about, then remembered the one place he hadn't checked yet…_

'_Of course, Colette's house!'_

_He ran to Colette's house, and saw a glowing light surrounding it._

'_How could I have missed it, it's so damn bright!'_

_He ran into the light, and was tossed back._

'_What the hell? Hmm. Maybe it's like those damned barriers that Mithos had up in Derris-Kharlan…'_

_He chucked his Cruxis Crystal at the light, and the light flew away, and all of a sudden he heard the Mario theme song._

_He hummed along to the song as he walked into Colette's house. Once in Colette's house, he didn't see Colette anywhere._

'_Lloyd!'_

'_Yeah?'_

_He turned around and saw Lloyd cowering in a corner from Colette's stuffed-animals._

'_Oh, thank goodness.'_

'_Did you just say 'thank goodness'? Geez, that's like something my grandma would say.'_

'_Oh, shut the fuck up, you cute little fucker.'_

_Lloyd jumped into his arms and…

* * *

_

"Holy shit!"

Zelos looked around, and he was back in his hotel room.

"Damn it. I wanted Lloyd to kiss me…"

"You did?"

Zelos turned around and saw Lloyd, standing in the doorway, staring in shock.

"Uh, yeah. I figured it would've been obvious by now…"

Lloyd grinned, "Yeah, I guess so."

"So, what am I back in here for?"

Lloyd sighed, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, and."

"Wait, wait, wait, what are you talking about?"

"Oh, well," he rubbed the back of his head, laughing nervously, "I got into a fight and I accidentally knocked the guy into the inn, and that knocked the biiiiiiiiiiig lamp in the lobby fall down. Onto your head."

"Wait, wait, what? You got into a fight? With who? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, and it was just with some guy who tried stealing my money. But are you okay? Well, obviously you are, I mean, you're standing and talking and stuff."

"Did you get that from Kratos?"

Zelos laughed inwardly at his question.

"Get what from Kratos?"

"Answering your own questions."

"Oh. I don't know, maybe. I guess so," He sighed, "So, what'd you mean when you said you wanted to kiss me?"

Lloyd sauntered over to Zelos, giggling a bit.

"Well, I thought you'd know. I mean, it was pretty straight-forward…"

Lloyd laughed, "Yeah, sorry. I was just stalling."

"Stalling for what?"

"Stalling for this."

Lloyd planted a chaste kiss right on Zelos' lips and pulled away, smiling.

"See you around, Zelos, I got to go buy new swords…"

"How about I go with you? I mean, my swords are getting blunt and dull…"

"How about no?"

Zelos glared, "You little bastard."

"Ah, you love it."

Zelos paused for a second, then laughed, "Well, you've got a point there."

"Of course I do."

Lloyd planted another quick kiss on Zelos' lips before jogging out of the room.

Once out of the room, Lloyd leaned against a wall, "Oh, what did I go and do that for? Damn it."

* * *

**A/N: **Hello everyone. Don't kill me for not updating in, like, forever. Please? I have... a Kratos plushie that I bought off eBay?

And, on that note of not updating, I am sooooo sorry for not updating. I was busy with school, and I just got a really hot poster of my God-slash-favorite rockstar, and my bestest friend has been hanging out alot. Of course, my bestest friend was the one who convinced me to update!

Also, on the note of this chapter, I'm sorry it's not exactly... as funny as the others. It's, like, midnight and I'm on a sugar-high. And I felt like throwing in semi-angst. Because... I've been reading too many SasuNaru deathfics.

And to all my lovely, beloved, sexy, gorgeous reviewers: Thank you very much for waiting patiently and I offer you raspberry sherbet, the best ice cream EVER! **offers the ice cream patiently**


	6. In which Lloyd is centered on

**Disclaimer: **Well, cut my wrists and black my fuckin' eyes, this ain't my shit. I own the story, but not the characters.

* * *

Zelos didn't see Lloyd for the rest of the day. Or the next day, for that matter. He vaguely wondered what happened to him, but he knew that Lloyd could take care of himself. 

"Zelos?"

"Hm?"

"Were you listening to me?"

"No, sorry Raine, what were you saying?

"You were last seen with Lloyd, do you know where he is?"

"No, and he can take care of himself, he's not a kid."

She laughed, "You sound just like him."

"Maybe being around him so much has affected me?"

"Haha. Maybe. Anyway, I've got to go take my birth control."

"Oh, okay. Wouldn't want you getting knocked up or anything."

"Or hitting the rag unexpectedly."

"Yep."

"Bye then."

"See ya."

"Hey everybody!"

"Lloyd, where have you been all day? We've been worried sick!"

Lloyd scoffed, "I can take care of myself."

"That's what Zelos said."

Lloyd frowned, "So, he wasn't worried about me?"

"I think maybe he was, deep down inside, but he's so careless."

Lloyd sighed.

"You like him don't you?"

Lloyd looked shocked for a split second, "Well, yeah. Everyone likes him."

"You know what I mean, don't be dense."

"What, you're calling me dense now?"

"Answer my question, Lloyd."

"Yes, damnit."

"Oh, I'm sorry. If it helps any, he likes you too. He just pretends to like you as much as he likes everyone else, it's a defense mechinism."

"Defense what?"

"To guard his heart, I suppose."

"You're overanalysing him."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. You're a woman, you think everything is a matter of the heart."

"Why do something or say something if you don't mean it from the heart?"

"Is that why you don't like Zelos?"

"I like him, he's... comedic relief."

"Is that all?"

"Maybe. I can't say for sure. Although, if he breaks your heart he'll be less funny and more screwed."

"How so?"

"My foot up his ass."

"Scary."

She laughed, "I suppose so."

"Hey, Lloyd? I haven't seen you all day."

Lloyd turned around, "Oh, hi Colette."

"Hi. So, anyway, I was wondering, if you'd like to go for a walk?"

"Uhh. Sure?"

"Alright! Good, I've got something to tell you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"So, Colette, what'd you have to tell me?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, is that all?"

"Oh, my goodness. You do?"

"Well, yeah." There was a rustling of grass, but Lloyd ignored it, "Like a sister."

"Oh. Okay."

"Oh. Oh, my. You thought I meant..."

"Hoping."

"I'm sorry, but that's all you'll ever really be to me, my best friend, my sister. It'd be like incest if we were together!"

She laughed a bit, and rubbed her face, "Wanna go back?"

"Sure, I'm sorry."

"No need to be."

They smiled and walked back to the inn.

* * *

**A/N: **Oooh. Yikes. No update in how long? FOREVER. Sorry. Lost my muse, couldn't find it for months, just found it as I've just started replaying ToS.

And I love all of my reviewers so much. You're all so madly, insanely **AWESOME**

And in exchange for you bastards forgiving me, I offer you tofurkey. **-holds out tofurkey and bows- **Please accept this gift and, possibly some favors? xD

Am I, the writer, forgiven?

'Cause, by the way, the next chapter after this is the **-gasp!-** end. You read right, THE END... NEXT CHAPTER. NOT THIS ONE, NEXT ONE. Mmkay?

Sorry. Again. **-sweatdrops-**


	7. In which this shitty story is OVER

**Disclaimer: **My milkshake brings all the boys to the story, although the charries ain't mine. Damn right, the charries ain't mine. I'd like to think otherwise, but I can't because of lawyers and such.

* * *

Once back at the inn, Colette headed back up to her room, almost immediately. Lloyd felt really bad, but he had more important things to worry about. 

"Professor?"

"Oh, Lloyd, where have you been? Why do you keep running off? I've been meaning to tell you..."

"Oh, geez. What?"

"Genis was uhm... discovering himself... in your tube socks."

"Discovering himself?"

"Spanking the monkey."

"HE HAS A MONKEY!"

"Oh, fuck. NO. HE WAS WANKING. JERKING OFF."

"Oh. AHHH! Ewwww."

"Exactly."

"Oh yeah, where's Zelos?"

"Hmm? I haven't seen him since this morning."

"Really?"

"If I had to guess, he'd be in his room."

"Oh, yeah."

"What, you didn't think to look there?"

"OF COURSE I DID... kind of."

Raine sighed, "My Goddess, you're so dense."

"I know. I'm sorry." Lloyd sighed sadly.

"What's wrong?"

"Everything's happening too fast for me. Colette loves me, but she's like my sister! Plus, I'm kind of, like... gay."

"Oh. Did Kratos talk to you about it?"

"What, being gay?"

"Yes."

"Nope, I didn't let him. See, I had to go into denial and stuff."

"Oh. I see."

"Yep, it's what every guy who thinks he's straight, but then finds out he's gay goes through. Denial."

"Indeed. Not like I'd know."

"Yep."

"So. We've just been talking too much. You need to go find Zelos."

"Oh yeah. Sorry. Slipped my mind."

"Of course it did, stupid."

"Fuck you."

"Regal and Linar already have!"

"AHHH!"

Lloyd ran out of the room, screaming like a little girl... right into Zelos.

"Oh, Zelos! I've been looking for you!"

"Yeah? I thought you and Colette would be celebrating your newfound love."

"What?"

"Well, it was kind of obvious that you two love each other."

"Well, yeah. She loves me in the way you're thinking, but I'm gay."

"Oh, sure. Whatever."

Zelos started walking away.

"Zelos!"

"Wh-"

He was cut off by Lloyd lips over his own.

"What's with you always interrupting me, Lloyd?" He said, smiling a bit.

"Sorry."

"S'okay."

* * *

"Okay, so. You and Zelos are like... together?"

"Well. Kind of."

"And like... have you... gotten... you know. Down and dirty?"

"Uh..."

"You have!"

"No! Well, kind of."

"Kind of?"

"Yep."

"I don't want to know."

"Exactly Sheena."

* * *

Later that night, Lloyd walked into Zelos' room for their now nightly "get-togethers".

Lloyd got under his covers and slung an arm lazily over Zelos' waist.

"Hey there, bud."

"Hey."

Zelos started trying to flip over, but Lloyd held him down.

"Wait. I have a question for you."

"Shoot."

"What are we?"

"Together."

"No, I mean... like. Are we boyfriends?"

"If that's what you want."

"Monogamous?"

"Monoga... what?"

"Only with each other. No one else."

"Sure thing, Lloyd."

"Really?"

"Whatever you want."

"You'd really change for me?"

"Anything for you."

Lloyd stopped holding him down. "I love you."

"Love you too."

* * *

**A/N: **Omgizzle. The story is over finally! Now, I don't have to write it anymore, and you don't have to read it anymore. -**emotear**-

Anyhoo. Thank you to all my lovely reviewers for putting up with my shitty writing and thank you all for being so lovely. As thanks, I have random objects painted... I mean, made of gold.

-**offers the random objects**-


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